I’m not going to be the girl you marry, but I’ll be the girl you’ll be thinking of 20 years from now while you engage in polite sex with your boring wife who fakes her orgasm to make you feel better about your receding hairline.

e.b. (via suspend)


If this gets 150 notes i’ll run into my local 711 with my full Matt Smith eleventh doctor outfit (Fez and all) and scan the doritoes with my sonic and run to the cashier and ask “QUICKLY, WHAT YEAR IS IT?! DOES IT END IN A NUMBER?”


a message to male socialists/communists: stop fucking growign beards you’re not marx or lenin or any of your other beardy inspirations. u are beard man of the 21st century and u got some crusty soup stuck in ur moustache. stop it


tall people: if we are walking together please take into consideration my tiny legs. i cant keep up with you. please think of my tiny legs i dont want to be jogging to keep up with your leisurely stroll you TITANS